You Might Be Crunchy If…

 Joshua and I were sitting around the kitchen counter last night and laughing at how we had become the kind of crunchy people that are easy to make fun of. It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself.

One of your major focuses right now is to find a raw milk supplier.

You might be crunchy if…

You get excited when (raw or organic) whipping cream goes on sale, so you can make homemade butter

You might be crunchy if…

You render your own fat

You might be crunchy if…

You know what kefir and kambucha are

You might be crunchy if…

In your search for junk food you ask the store clerk for organic popcorn kernels

You might be crunchy if…

Your bag of dog food costs as much as a weeks worth of groceries

You might be crunchy if…

You get excited that your farmers market is now selling rendered pig fat

You might be crunchy if…

You mill your own flour

You might be crunchy if…

You actually know the farmer where your beef came from

You might be crunchy if…

You ask your server if your breakfast eggs are free range and organic

You might be crunchy if…

There isn’t any white sugar or white flour in your cupboards

You might be crunchy if…

You don’t use agave syrup because it’s too processed

You might be crunchy if…

You think vegetable oil is only meant for seasoning your cast iron pan

You might be crunchy if…

You soak your grains overnight

You might be crunchy if …

You make bone broth for its gelatinous qualities

You might be crunchy if…

You hear yourself say things like, “I need to get my order in to Sunshine Organics (or your favorite local organic source).”

You might be crunchy if…

The ingredient list on the side of an ice cream container scares you.

You might be crunchy if…

Weston A. Price is a household name

You might be crunchy if…

You now what GAPS is (and we’re not talking about the store).

You might be crunchy if…

You’re fermenting food on your counter top right now.

You might be crunchy if…

You’re offended by this post

We began this list as a way to laugh a bit at ourselves and the crunchy community, because it’s good to have a sense of humor. We compiled these from our experience and others, but when we finished the list we realized that we do all of these but one. I don’t know if that’s good or bad….Can you guess which one?

What crunchy things do you do that make you laugh at yourself? Leave your own version of “You Might Be Crunchy If…” in the comments below and we’ll compile them together for a Part 2 post!


I’m sharing this with Real Food 101, Mangia Monday, Monday ManiaMy Meatless MondaySlightly Indulgent Tuesday, Tasty TuesdayA Little Birdie Told Me, Fat TuesdayThese Chicks Cook, Allergy Free Wednesday, The Tasty Alternative, Whole New Mom, Real Food Wednesday, Pennywise Platter Thursday, Simply Lives Thursday and Full Plate Thursday

31 Responses to You Might Be Crunchy If…

  1. Suzanne April 1, 2012 at 6:35 pm #

    I’m definitely crunchy and happy to be so!!! It would be so great if everyone were crunchy. The world would be so much healthier then.

    • France Morissette April 1, 2012 at 7:41 pm #

      Right on Suzanne! What’s the crunchiest thing you’ve ever done?

  2. Marg April 1, 2012 at 6:40 pm #

    I’m going to guess the only one you don’t do (and neither do I) is the last one. :)

    • France Morissette April 1, 2012 at 7:40 pm #

      Haha, Marg, so true. The funny thing is that I didn’t even think of that one when I wrote that :) There is another one in the mix. Can you guess which one?

  3. Katie @ Katie Without Restrictions April 1, 2012 at 7:36 pm #

    I have a question (because I’m clearly not nearly as crunchy as you, although definitely moving in that direction!): what in the world are you doing with your rendered fat??

    • France Morissette April 1, 2012 at 7:39 pm #

      Katie, keep it up and you’ll be there soon :) I use it to cook with instead of butter sometimes because it’s cheaper.

  4. Fiona Jane Marshall April 1, 2012 at 8:37 pm #

    I am SO crunchy! Not the non veggie fat bits but boy there are a lot of other uber crunches happening in this family! :) Happy to be crunchy : )

  5. Kelly @ Inspired Edibles April 1, 2012 at 9:35 pm #

    Is crunchy the new “grano” (granola)? ;-). I get excited when I overhear my 11-year-old son bragging to his buddy about how much he likes quinoa… (true story!). Definitely crunchy granola ;-).

    • France Morissette April 2, 2012 at 11:08 pm #

      Kelly, so awesome to hear the story of your quinoa loving son!

  6. tracy April 1, 2012 at 9:41 pm #

    …if when you are out of deoderant, you head to the kitchen pantry:-)

  7. Linda April 1, 2012 at 9:59 pm #

    If you make your own laundry soap.

  8. Dar April 1, 2012 at 10:17 pm #

    …if you get excited when your farmer has chicken feet! :-)
    I didn’t realize just how crunchy I am, but I am definitely one crunchy mama! lol

  9. AmandaLP April 1, 2012 at 11:32 pm #

    Except for milling my own flour (don’t have a mill) and buying expensive cat food, this is totally me! :)

  10. Holly @ Nerdymom Speaks April 2, 2012 at 2:59 am #

    …if you have ever filled your ice cube trays with pureed liver

    …if your kids think water kefir is soda

    …if the first thing you do when someone says “I don’t feel well” is make some more stock

    …if you call your best friend and brag about how much gel you got from your latest batch of stock

    …if you replaced your dentist with fermented cold liver oil, high vitamin butter oil, raw milk, and fluoride-free toothpaste

    …if you make your own “toothpaste”

    …if you take chicken liver pate to a party

    • France Morissette April 2, 2012 at 9:15 pm #

      Holly, you are one crunchy lady! :) Awesome additions to the next round of “You Might Be Crunchy If” Thanks so much!

  11. Debra April 2, 2012 at 5:07 am #

    … Your 2-year old yells from her high chair, “More Kraut!”

    • France Morissette April 2, 2012 at 9:15 pm #

      Debra, that is so hilarious! :)

  12. Koko April 2, 2012 at 4:48 pm #

    Oh god…I am so crunchy!!

    I just bought quinoa seeds to add to my garden…and yes these will require me to make a homemade hulling machine. Luckily the boyfriend volunteered (what!?) to make some sort of contraption for it!

    PS. France do you have raw milk? or know where to purchase it? It is illegal in Canada, no? Although I thought Saltspring had some… I know you can get raw cheese but I want raw milk…..throw me an e-mail if you find a source!

  13. Holly @ Nerdymom Speaks April 3, 2012 at 3:57 am #

    Lol France yes, I guess I am. But I did buy toothpaste today (fluoride free, natch). I just crave that super-minty, pasty, foamy goodness. It’s been months and I still just didn’t feel like my teeth were properly clean. So be it. Crunchy points deducted.

  14. Andrea Pires April 4, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

    You might be crunchy if… You drink homemade pineneedle tea everyday.

    You might be crunchy if… you beg your friends to pick all the dandelion greens and pansies out of their yards, and give them to you.

    You might be crunchy if… you point at evey single food item and name what it’ll do to your health.

    You might be crunchy if… you get really angry because you think you forgot to buy a bottle of raw, un-flavored kombucha to start your own brew, and then realized you did.

    Yeah. I’m definitely crunchy…

    • France Morissette April 4, 2012 at 8:19 pm #

      Andrea, these are great! Thanks so much!

  15. Andrea Pires April 5, 2012 at 3:07 pm #

    Thanks, France!

    I just thought of another one. =)

    You might be crunchy if…Your relatives start referring to you as “hard” instead of crunchy.

    • France Morissette April 5, 2012 at 3:17 pm #

      Andrea, you’re on a roll!

  16. Heather H. April 6, 2012 at 12:24 am #

    You might be crunchy if…

    -you turn everything over and read the label before even considering the purchase.

    -you preach the poisons of GMO so often people at work start calling you the “health nut”

    -your refrigerator is full of dozens of fermented foods, all in canning jars of course

    -you plan your meals at least a week in advance so you have time to soak, sprout, grind, ferment etc.

    -you would rather spend an hour making homemade potato chips deep fried in lard, than have a manicure

    -you buy your clothes at a thrift store so you have more money to spend on your bulk herb order

    -Your yearly bulk herb order weighs more than 50 pounds!

    -you buy coconut oil by the 5 pound barrel :)

    -your children all sleep with a 50 lb bag of wheat under their beds, because you have run out of storage room

    -your 4 year old turns up her nose when offered a sucker, because it was too sweet

    -When someone says that raw milk is dangerous you actually come close to getting in a physical altercation.

    -you asked the waiter last night if the salmon was wild-caught.

    -if stranded on a deserted island, you could survive by eating your deoderant, hair conditioner, or homemade cleaning products.

    -you only guy 5-10 items at a big chain grocery store. And none of them are edible (garbage bags, light bulbs etc).

    -you would rather have a grain grinder than an iPhone.

    -A free beef heart actually makes you excited. Free and Beef Heart, what could be better than that?!

    ——I’m crunchier than I thought. I am guilty of every one of the 20 in your list, and every one suggested in the comments….oh dear.

    • France Morissette April 6, 2012 at 2:05 pm #

      Heather, this just made my day. Laughing so hard right now! The one about the manicure is priceless!

  17. Amy April 6, 2012 at 4:13 am #

    …If reading this list reminds you of a bunch of things you’ve been meaning to try!

    Seriously, I dream about being that crunchy 😉

  18. Michelle @ The Willing Cook April 9, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

    That’s pretty funny!  My husband and I have done similar things as it relates a little more to food allergies.  I like the additional comments too.  It’s always amazing how much your kids get into it too.  I’m a bit late this week, but want to thank you for sharing at last week’s Allergy-Free Wednesdays.  We hope that we’ll see you again this week.

    ~Michelle, AFW Hostess

  19. Jenn Erickson April 16, 2012 at 7:09 pm #

    I truly admire the way you think and the way you live.  I have so much to learn from you on my way to becoming more “crunchy”.  So far, I think my dogs are the crunchiest of our lot with their pricey and healthy food.


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